Month: February 2016

There Is No Winter Here and I’m Kind of Bummed About It

Image: Summer Skyes 11 I feel like I’ve been sleepwalking lately. Somnambulant. What a perfect word to describe this exact activity. The long “o” sounds. The way the “b” wants to bleed into the “l,” much like in “ambling.” Ambling leading to aimless. Aimless leading to wandering. Wandering. I was excited for the second semester, but now that feeling has worn off. Other than workshop, I’m not sure if I’m particularly jazzed about any of my classes. Even workshop feels like a struggle sometimes, not because of the structure or the teacher. I’m just wondering if the newness, the shininess, of graduate school is wearing off. Before I came to South Carolina, I was turning over a new internship every four to six months. The longest job I worked at in Minneapolis was six months and that was in HR. Following that, I interned at one of the nation’s “big five” museums for modern art. When that was over, I interned at a major non-profit independent press. Then, I held a part-time job as a …

Imposter

Image: Whisper – Cuchotement by Frédérique Voisin-Demery Imposterrrrr. The whisper escapes from my medicine cabinet as I reach for my toothbrush. Imposterrrrr. It snakes around the mugs in my cupboard as I grab my favorite. Imposterrrrr. It is what I hear from my closet at night. It wafts in through the wall vents riding on the heat. It resounds through the hallways after I leave a class having not spoken. On walks home, the whispers fight against my jacket like the cold. They try to hold my hand through my gloves. I can hear them over my headphones, through the noise of the wind. At my apartment, the words manage to sneak in past the front door as I drop my bag on the linoleum entrance. They vanish into dark corners and into the nooks with doors, ready to spill out at me when I need a fresh towel. I crack a beer and a book and I know the words are behind me, pulsing and throbbing. I fall asleep on the couch, lights on, …